Tuesday, January 3, 2012


I just realized that Black Cat probably didn't get back to me because they don't have my email address!!! savagelightstudios@gmail.com - let me know your settlement offer... I'm really cheap!

I also was getting ready for bed and noticed something that terrified me... 


Meep! She's sweet, and knows her name, but
not really challenging on a conversational level.
I told Meep that my toenails are blue and she... Who's meep? WHO'S MEEP?

Meep is my roommate's cat. Well one of her two cats. 


I told Meep that my toenails are blue and she looked at me and said, "Purrreeep."

You read that right. That cat said, "Purrreeep."

Well, I looked down at her and said, "That's all well and good, but that really doesn't address the fact that my toenails are faintly blue! I want to know why!"

She looked at me and blinked a couple times, thinking. Her response really impressed me... She said, "Well, dumbass, your hair and nails are both made out of keratin... It's a tough protein that is naturally occurring in mammals. Since the Punky Colors - Atlantic Blue is formulated to color your hair, of COURSE it's going to stain your nails."

I thought about it for a second before a countered, "But... I didn't put it ON my toes! So, HA!"

"You rinsed it out of your hair, didn't you?"

I had to think about it for a second... And then touch my hair to make sure it wasn't crispy because I had left it in. "Yes. I did."

"Did you take your feet with you into the shower?"

I knew the answer to that one without thinking about it. "Yes. I did."

She sighed and started talking to me like I was in 4th grade... I told you, it's been one of those days. "When you rinsed your hair... the water fell to the bottom of the tub. Or at least I assume it did. You left the gravity on this time, right?" I nodded. "Your feet... and therefore your toenails were in the water, and  they got stained in the process."

"OHHHH! That's a relief... I was afraid I'd stepped on a smurf. Now that we have that mystery solved and you've proved yourself so smart, I wanna ask you another question."

"Fire away sport!"

"Where does the toetag go on a dead person if they don't have toes?"

1 comment:

  1. Kiddo, Meep is not that smart. I think we need to recheck the ingredients on that dye! Also, they put it around the ankle or knee or whatever is left of a lower extremity. In cases where sharks and Viagra are jointly to blame, there will often be a hilarious game of high stakes, morgue-wide ring toss.