My reason for talking about it so much is that we are getting ready to shoot the first episode of our series (Web series right now... aiming for television, but probably won't get there... BUT we might be able to get it on netflix... but this is all off topic) THIS WEEKEND.
I've explained what goes into film making... I was pretty vague... and I will probably outline every step of the process in the not too distant future... but for the time being, you have an idea.
We've done the paper work... though I need to get a couple things printed out and the truck packed and a couple more emails to make sure everyone is ready... get some sandwich stuff, bug spray, sunscreen...
Well... there's a lot more to do...
Dammit.
Yesterday, however, I spent the day yesterday... yes, the whole day... making the intro for the series... It doubles as a trailer. When I say I spent the whole day doing it... we're talking from 11am to midnight. 13 hours with a break for lunch...
Remember how, I said film making was boring? Did I mention tedious?
Anyway... Enjoy!
It's coming soon... watch for it!
The image featured in this episode SHAMELESSLY stolen from the following source:
Bad Fan! Stand in the corner
til you've learned your lesson!
A couple months ago, the Fondue Goddess' laptop started making a sound... it sounded, for all the world, like there was a cat inside the case, growling to be let out.
Immediately, she texted me saying, "My laptop is making a horrible sound!"
I, evidently, responded with the proper answer. (I have been advised that this was code for, "Oh noes! My laptop is broken! Please fix it!") I told her I would check it out and see what the problem was...
When I arrived, she turned it on and it made the sound. If you are a computer person, you know the sound I am talking about... that asthmatic wheeze that tells you that you have a bad cooling fan.
It was a little while before a replacement part was located.
Then there was time before it could be bought... Money is a dumb concept. I will get more into that here in a moment... There was none to be had for a couple weeks.
It arrived last week.
I got over there tonight to fix it. Evidently, it was just in time, too. I am told that the laptop had to be tapped from time to time to get the fan spinning again, and that on a couple occasions, she actually had to verbally coax it along...
I am pleased to announce that (after about 10 minutes of research on how to get the g'damned keyboard lock plate off), the operation was a complete and utter success.
There was cheering. The Sisterface actually bent over and put her ear to the deck of the laptop to make sure the fan was running. There was rejoicing. There was a laptop computer running. It was quiet, happy... and COOL.
Yeah... bartering... like this!
SO... I was rewarded in Caffeine and Chinese Food! This was a good night.
I think the entire world should forgo the concept of money and get back to bartering.
I know... we've all gotten used to the concept of dollars and cents... the gold, silver, copper, plastic standard... But is it REALLY that good of an idea? I don't think so.
Because of our current financial system, people are allowed and able to amass great amounts of wealth by doing nothing except moving money around. That doesn't happen with the barter system. By moving goods around, you are a merchant and are ACTUALLY DOING WORK.
The barter system also means that most lazy people (i.e. Those people who have trust funds and have never worked for a dollar) won't have much to trade till they get off their asses and do something...
Take The Fondue Goddess... she excels at making the melty cheesy goodness... I LIKE FONDUE. I want fondue. I do tech support, or carry out the litter box, or mop the floors or reach things on the tallest shelf... and she gives me molten cheesy goodness.
I have any number of talents that can be exploited for this... I make movies... You want entertainment... A loaf of bread, some milk, some beef... watch my movie! I meet your needs, you meet mine...
EVERYONE has a talent they can exploit for barter...
Dancing in your underwear... EPIC WIN!
Lifting things
moving things
growing things
tech support
painting
art
music
cooking
dancing around in your underwear
Wait... that's not right.
Or maybe it totally is... I mean look at him over there! He's just so happy!
Recent studies have shown that consumerism makes people depressed and anti social... don't believe me? Well tough! BAM! (CITATION PROVIDED!!! MWAHAHA!!!)
One of the main ways to avoid these effects is to avoid TV... No, not the content, but the advertising... Buffy the Vampire slayer doesn't lead to depression... the only thing that leads to is the desire to have Alyson Hannigan wrap her legs around...
Wait... what was I talking about again?
OH! RIGHT! Consumerism.
I mean... I understand why they invented money... one day somebody told a guy that the bread he wanted was worth a chicken, and the smallest thing he had with him was a cow... and no one could make change for the cow... The problem wasn't so much that they couldn't make change, but the exchange rate... I mean, it was 4 chickens for every goat, 6 goats for a horse, but there was no rate for goats to cow or cow to horse... so what do you do?
Of course! YOU INVENT MONEY! And commercialism, capitalism and consumerism... I am pretty sure that all isms are bad, when you get down to their roots.
But consumerism is one of the worst. It literally makes you distrustful, calloused and antisocial. So... let's get away from the money thing and get into the barter thing...
Barter!
Share!
Freecylce!
What's Freecycling??? ARE YOU KIDDING? You get stuff for free... you give stuff for free... IT'S AWESOME!!! (LEARN MORE HERE!)
Yeah. Barter is kind of like this...
I forgot where I was going with this, really... I got Mountain Dew and Broccoli Beef... it's a good day!
Since I recorded this, Santorum dropped out of the race, but it is no less important.
In this episode I discuss Autism Speaks...
Autism Speaks, which claims to speak for autism, has no autistic employees or board members with autism and is viewed as a bully by many autistic individuals who feel that the organization engages in tactics that marginalize their voices and contribute to an environment that hurts the lives of those with Autism. Their most recent move certainly supports such an argument.
I don't base my perceptions of myself on anything but my accomplishments and knowledge...
That is, until recently...
I watch a specific performer on youtube (NICE PETER). Nice peter does a short video every Monday called "The Monday Show." (Go figure.)
On the Monday Show, Nice Peter has a segment called "Viewer Mail." I won't explain that... I'm sure you've figured it out already. It DOES have a catchy little tune, though.
ANYWAY...
A while back, Nice Peter wrote a song called "Superman Socks."
I LOVE THIS SONG! (for your enjoyment, here it is.)
Anyway... After watching the video. I mean, like 5 minutes after... I stumbled across the most amazing product in the entire universe. Something that will change EVERYTHING. This product will make life better and make EVERYONE happy! ESPECIALLY NICE PETER...
BAM!
BAM! That's right. You're seeing them!!! Those are:
SUPER
MAN
SOCKS!
Mother-fucking SUPERMAN SOCKS!
So... I bought a pair... then I sent them to Nice Peter for his viewer mail segment. Peter assures everyone that all of the packages get opened and appreciated, even... ESPECIALLY THOSE THAT DON'T GET SHOWN.
Yet... Every Monday, I watch the Monday show, and I am VERY...I mean VERY disappointed when he doesn't open my package and show it.
I think there is something wrong with me... beyond the obvious and diagnosed things... An internet personality not showing my package... a silly pair of socks in their video should not cause a depressive episode.
Nice Peter... Please open my socks on the Monday Show before my brain melts.
When people find out what I do, they invariably say "That must be exciting!" Or something to that effect.
Let me tell you this... Movies are exciting. Making them is not.
I am telling you this, because in a week's time, I will be out in the Coutourie Forest shooting the first episode of my series "Project Z: History of the Zombie Apocalypse." I haven't been posting much because we're getting ready for that.
It takes a lot of time, and I keep telling myself, "I should write!" Then, I sit at the computer and there are emails, paperwork, and the like to work on... The work never stops...
SO... since you'll missing me a bit...I thought I would explain what goes into film making so that you can have an idea and can commiserate with me.
The first step is the script. Writing, contrary to popular believe, is not as easy as it looks. While modern technology, applications and the proliferation of computers has made it possible for any monkey with a home computer to write - it does not mean that the monkey can turn out anything of quality.
And that is the big thing... Quality is paramount. Without quality, we have a Michael Bay film. No one wants that.
Once you have written (or decide on) a script, there is a lot to do with it.
You have to type up character breakdowns. This is a list of characters with a little bit about them. This is so that your actors can understand what they are auditioning for.
You have do do the breakdown. A breakdown is a list of what the script is. It tells you what locations you need. The characters by scene. The props, vehicles, food, effects, etc. This is a huge pain in the ass, but is an important step of the process. Without the breakdown, there is no movie...
Then we have auditions. This is where the actors show you their stuff... You match actors with the characters that you outlined before. This is one of my least favorite parts of the process. Actors are like the rest of us. There are a lot of intelligent people... and there are a lot more of them that are dumber than hell.
You will ask people to do some basic things, and they will do everything BUT what you ask them. You ask for a male 22-32, and you get a guy who is 58 who claims that he "looks young." You post for a college aged female age 25 and you get a 40 year old drag queen. You have a guy who can't tape an interview, but you want him because he fits the look... so you make an exception and let him come to call backs and he doesn't show. It sucks.
Further, if you need background (in this case, we need zombies)... you need 21 zombies, you have to book 30+ because no matter how many people say yes, you will have some people who just don't show. It's disappointing.
After auditions, you have call backs. This is where you and your staff invite specific people to come back and you have them read (that is movie talk for.. well... reading) for the parts you are considering them for. This is better than first round auditions. There is a lot less in the way of BS and the like... these people WANT to be there.
After that... it gets rough... you have to line up locations (places you are allowed to do what ever stupid shit you intend to do on film).
You have to:
Hire PAs (I don't know what they do on a normal set, but on mine, they do what ever we need them to)
Get background (extras) for your scenes.
Get or make props.
Line up food for everyone.
Get a contact list put together.
Make sure everyone knows where, when and how.
Get the script to everyone.
Email everyone.
I am sure I am forgetting something. All of this leads up to the day you shoot it... and then there is more to do.
You have to:
Get the footage off the cameras.
Synchronize the external audio you recorded with the video you recorded.
Color grade.
Edit (which can take a LONG TIME... we spent 45 hours on a 17 minute shoot)
Sound design.
Add music.
And shooting the film can be a boring process too. Think about your favorite conversation in your favorite movie. In that conversation, they shot a master.
This is a wide shot that shows the scene in its entirety. Normally this is a static (non-moving shot).
Then you have your 180s. This is where we set the cameras up so one shoots one actor, one shoots the other actor. You have to run these twice... one with a 35mm lens and on with a 50mm lens (this gives you a medium and close-up on each actor.
If you have anything else you want to do (like an overhead shot or a moving shot) you have to run another angle on that, too.
So... Assuming that your actors get it right every time (which doesn't happen), that means that you have to run the scene a minimum of 3 times. Most of the time, this means that you have to run the scene at least 10 times.
Like I said, film making is boring. But it's totally worth it when you see all that work and boredom up on the big screen. TOTALLY worth it.
NO. Don't reboot now!
I still need to save my work.
I am getting tired. The whole point of film is to tell a story. These stories should be original, or at least original takes on existing themes.
Don't get me wrong. I mean, the debate over the Hunger Games and Battle Royal is stimulating, but meaningless. Neither of them is original, as they are just modern day Shakespeare
No, seriously... You ask "How?"
Well, let me tell you...
Shakespeares dramas started "In Medias Res." Right in the thick of it. Battle Royal starts with the students waking up in the "Classroom" where they are told that they have to fight to the death. They are already kidnapped. In The Hunger Games, the revolution has happened and the back story is already deep in the plot. It's been going on for a long time.
Willie's plays had lots of references to blood. 'Nuff said.
Foreshadowing. Shakespeare loved it. To be fair, Battle Royal had it in spades... It wasn't, (by any definition) subtle, but it was there. The Hunger Games had it as well... It was clear that the little sister was going to be chosen from the moment that they told us she had only one entry in the drawing this year.
A foil. Shakespeare had no other literary tools to exemplify or codify the traits of one character but the foil. I don't know if this was a symptom of the writing of the time, or if he was just a one trick pony, but All of them had them. Rue is Katniss' foil. Katniss, at her heart, is a vicious opponent with a great capacity for violence, but without Rue, she would have not been able to live up to that. Noriko is Shu's foil in Battle Royal. Without her, the inherent bravery in this "Nice Guy" character would not have been able to shine.
I could go on, but I won't. I am sure you get the point.
It has been said that "There is nothing new under the sun." I believe this with all my heart. This doesn't mean that we have to retell the same stories over and over.
Hollywood is guilty of remaking the same thing over and over and over... 12 angry men, 101 dalmatians, Alfie, Always (A guy named joe), Angels in the Outfield, Annie, Assault on Precinct 13, The bachelor (Seven Chances), The Bad news Bears, Bangkok Dangerous (Made by the same director... TWICE), Bedazzled, Black Christmas, The Birdcage (La Cage aux Folles)... and MANY MANY MORE.
It needs to stop... Really.
No one wants to see this shit. I know, some people will go pay to see it in the theatre because they remember the original film from their childhood, but that is no reason to be an unoriginal, asshat, half-assed hack.
I really do mean it when I say, you need to stop it...
What was that? You say that original titles don't make any revenue? BULLSHIT!
My Big Fat Greek Wedding. The Blair Witch Project. Paranormal Activity. Do those sound familiar? Yeah... they made hella bank... you know what they had that your other original titles didn't? They had publicity... Free publicity by being award winners in film festivals...
How ya' like me now?
It wasn't their quality that made them successful... It was that they had that publicity. Examine your numbers and you will find that your most successful films are the ones that had media backing... the reason that your original titles don't make bank is because you don't support them... You blitzed the hell out of the public with AVATAR, by Saint J. Cameron... it was original and POW! BOX OFFICE SMASH! It's you're fault that original titles fail!
Since I know you won't stop... Since I know you will keep doing it (partly because you are a bunch of wankers without an original thought in your head and partly because you are afraid of everything new)... there are some things that you should keep in mind.
STOP CHANGING SHIT!
Artistic license is one thing... but let me tell you... The back lash is going to bite you in the ass if you let Michael Bay make the Ninja Turtles into aliens...
Remaking Short Circuit... Bad!
Remaking it with the dumbass who is responsible for SPONGE BOB SQUARE PANTS?! Worse!
Letting him make the robot look more threatening... Artistic license and it might actually work...
LETTING HIM MAKE IT A KIDS MOVIE!?! FUCK YOU!
Stop ruining our childhood and turn out some original titles, assholes! And if you do... give them the Publicity and Advertising budget you should and you will have a hit... Just look at the Matrix, Star Wars, Friday the 13th, ALIEN!
This is the only movie I want to see teenage mutant aliens in!
About a year and a half ago, I met Mari while working on the set of Battleship Delta. Now they're calling it "Battleship."
ANYWAY... A while later, I was doing some stand-in work for Daniel Cudmore on the set of "the Baytown Disco." I ran into Mari again when we were on location in Slidell, Louisiana. I can only describe this location as Satan's Armpit, LA. We spoke a while, and then I didn't see her again for over a year.
This is the teaser for that film.
Anyway... Mari contacted me, and is going to be a zombie in episode one. She also got me in contact with an AMAZING Makeup Artist... we are discussing with him right now...
She also, a while back, bought me a hat for the New Orleans Zephyrs, and we just haven't seen each other in a while. This is SOOOO cool... the Zephyr's hats have a big Z on them. Since we're working on Project Z, which we're calling "Z" for short, this is AWESOME!
This is part of Mari... and my "Z" Hat!
Thank you so much Mari! Now I just need more fans to send me stuff!
Okay... I haven't blogged much in the last week... I HAVE BEEN BUSY!!!
Let's see...
I made a couple vlog entries. I mean, you've seen them... if you haven't, go ahead... I'll wait. Go on! They're right below this post. GO!!!
So, right there, you see I've been very busy, just with the location scouting, but there's been a lot more going on.
As most of you know... Actually, most of you don't know. As far as I can tell, only 5 people actually read this things... so, most people that see this don't know anything about it. Anyway... I am a film maker, photographer, blogger, vlogger and novelist. Let's go down the list...
As a novelist, I have been terribly busy. I am trying, with every fiber of my being, to get the first novel in my trilogy ready to sell and publish. I've written three of them and am working on the fourth. I am also working on a young adult novel, but these two are on the back burner for what is going on now.
I am in the process of EDITING! (http://www.dramabutton.com/) Re-read the sentence, and push the button! PUSH IT!
Editing my work is one of the most difficult tasks of my life. I know, it's difficult to understand, but it really is. I have heard writers describe creating a novel is akin to giving birth, but I don't think so. There is no guarantee that you will love your children.
YAY! RED INK!
I know, that is a cruel thing to say, but it's true. One of my good friends is also a writer and she said something that makes me a little uneasy about the whole editing process, but it is soooo very true. She said that"the only people that can get published are those that truly love their words." And that means that to get published, you have be in love with what you've written.
I am... I know it sounds really arrogant, but I have written three REALLY good stories. And, I will admit, for the longest time... I WAS really arrogant... I was convinced that I didn't need to edit it... I was perfect... my words, even more so. I don't know what changed, but recently, something did.
I think it might have been the fact that I had that dream again... the one where I am sitting there at the table, signing my book. Or it might have been the fact that my friend told me that she didn't think she had it in her to get published. She thinks she isn't enough in love with her work to persevere. Editing is a horrifically boring process where you have to read the pages over and over and over again. You HAVE to love what you have written, or you'll go insane.
It also takes a great deal of determination. You send your work in to an unending stream of agents and publishers only to receive a form letter that tells you that they didn't even have the time to enter your name on the rejection letter. Or, worse yet, they respond with, "Hey! That sounds pretty spiffy, send over 50 pages." This is worse because it gets your hopes up. Because, thus far, I have had 5 people request more... only to have my hopes smashed like a glass at a Jewish wedding.
So... I've had the magnanimous help from a couple of really good friends... The Bean and The Fondue Goddess. They have been reading, rereading, rerereading and even rererereading my pages, and marking them, making suggestions for revisions, and then... reading the damn thing again.
They have been saints. These women are actually honored to do this... I cannot imagine why. I am one of the biggest assholes in the world during the editing process... it comes back to the fact that I love my words. Hell... you've read my drivel (provided that you followed my instructions and read back at the beginning of this post like I told you to... Well that, and it would be realllly weird if you had just jumped right to this part of the entry)... I LOVE what I do.
All that being said - I am very happy with the way things are coming along. In spite of my protestations, assholishness and childish behavior, the ladies have NOT gotten angry, slapped me and walked out. Due to their intelligence, good grace, good ideas and perseverance... my work has improved...
I said all that to say this. I appreciate you two. Thank you Bean and Fondue Goddess... you are helping me realize my dreams of being published.
There are a lot of other things going on... so lets take a look at them
Film Making:
We did all the casting for Timber's (Timber's company's page)series and formed what promises to be a mutually beneficial relationship with Jonathan and Crystal from Garbage Horror.com. We are gearing up for the first episode of our series, Project Z: History of the Zombie Apocalypse. We have had round 1 of casting, and will be having callbacks on Sunday the 15th. To achieve this, we have been looking at Zombie actors, locations and make up artists (I think our MUA has been found). I also have secured a deal with a British musician for about 30 songs for the series. We are also working on the script of what promises to be an AMAZING piece... I promise you that we will release something the likes of which you have never seen! (that is a way to say... it's unique)
I am also helping Pallo Production with some audio issues on a couple pieces and we probably have it licked.
We entered in to the Pelican de Noire film festival. Monday is the last day for submissions... I hope we get in.
VLOG:
I've been busy. Take a look on my VLOG page. Look Ma, No Hands! On youtube.
BIG NEWS:
I had a big chance to prove something to myself. I have always believed that I have the ability to learn VERY quickly. Due to the folks over at Garbage Horror, we got some web space and a domain name. They recommended the wordpress web publishing platform (which I think blogspot uses, but I could be wrong) and I set out to install it.
Now, you need to realize, I haven't coded a web page in over 5 years. They say it's like riding a bicycle, but I was never very good at that either. So... this was a MAJOR undertaking. I learned about the installation process, the plugins, mySQL databases and all kinds of things to create my company's web page. I'm proud of what we have. So, check out the Savage Light Studios webpage.
Photography:
I went out to City Park today and took pictures of the Bean. She's foxy! Here are a few
for your enjoyment. The rest can be seen on my DeviantArt profile.
All of this is to say, I have been busy. That's all, though. Get out!
Look Ma, No Hands is up... and I think it's an awesome one.
Watch the closing credits today... AWESOME song and we give thanks.
Today, we do some more location scouting in Brechtel Park on the west bank of the big muddy in the New Orleans area... We find a fairy ring and try to get Glitch to switch with her changeling counterpart, take a drive and check out Jonathan and Crystal's haunted attraction. We also interview Jonathan and Crystal about their --soon to return to the web-- series "Garbage Horror."
This is one of those stories that requires a little... or rather... A lot of back story.
Back at the end of March, I applied for a job with a valet parking company. They held the group interview yesterday. This is the short vlog entry I made before I went out.
I was offered the job.
I had to change my hair and shave...
I was excited and did it... I even made a silly vlog episode about it...
Well... tonight, they called me in an attempt to schedule me... I missed the call... but I got the voicemail and fell apart. My face flushed, my joints are achey, chest is tight, can't relax, heart is racing, my neck is SOOO tense, my brain feels like it's too big for my head, head ache... You know how it is... straight up anxiety attack.
I... I don't think I am going to be able to take the job.
It goes a lonnnnggg way back.
Back in 2006, I moved to Orlando, FL because Timber was living there and told me that it was an awesome place to live. He was partly right. I did Halloween Horror Nights at Universal Studios for a couple years. I met some great friends, and had some great times...
HOWEVER, like all of us... I needed a job... sooo...
It wasn't this call center, but it could have been.
I worked at the customer service center for ***COMPANY NAME REDACTED***. This was my own personal hell. This company is a MAJOR retailer. The call center I worked in was deidcated to the installation and repair of appliances. I worked in the call center for a few months in the repair department. They promoted me to "escalated complaints."
When an installation or repair did not go right, they were handled by the department that handled it. If it kept going wrong, and the customer became unmanageable and a manager could not handle it: it got shipped over to my department. We were (supposedly) empowered to handle customer's issues and get them taken care of. That is, provided that they were in the right. There were a great many of them that were not in the right.
My problems started when it came out that I used to be a contractor and used to install appliances for another company. So, I became the "Go to guy" for answers of why things worked the way they do. I was able to explain it simply, and the case worker would call the customer and let them know our decision based on the information at hand.
There were 3 people in the department that caused problems. One of them would not call her difficult customers back. When she took calls for other agent's she wouldn't read them the comments on their account (which would explain what she needed to say), she wouldn't forward messages along, and she was just lazy. #2 was a religious nut that insisted on sending religious themed emails. The third one was... well... a wussy... she never wanted to tell the customers no... even when we were in the right in a specific instance.
Now, the problem got worse because of the way the department was run. Each of us was required to work a certain number of cases. The tracking system had no way to track who had modified the files in the system. So... #3 would reassign the cases she did not want to deal with to another agent. Typically, to me... So... after months of a customer being neglected by Trac... by #3, a customer was assigned to me, and I caught the full brunt of their fury...
Yup... That was my job.
So... I spent two years of my life getting yelled at for 50+ hours a week. Then, the high end management of ***COMANY REDACTED***, decided that they were going to change the way things were done and remove all of our authority and power to help the customers. So it got worse. Then #3 started lying to her customers telling them that I was supposed to handle them...
Allow me to clarify things a bit. As I have mentioned, ad nauseum, I have Asperger's Syndrome. One of the things that i have noticed about people with AS is that we resonate very loudly with the concept of truth. So... in a situation where an issue is based in fact, whether or not the customer agrees, I would stand by my guns... Like I was told to do.
After two years of dealing with rude, loud, insulting, aggressive and irrational people who had no respect for the truth of the matter (Not to mention were a bunch of entitled butt-munches)... I lost it. I had a documented psychotic break. Well... Let me reword that. I had a mental breakdown. They put me in an inpatient facility and on anti-psychotic medications. Then I went into an outpatient mental program for 8 weeks.
I recovered. Went back to work at ***COMPANY NAME REDACTED*** and told them that I needed to be in a different department, which they refused to accommodate and the stress built up and they noticed it before another break and fired me on my birthday.
I was on unemployment for a while and then moved back home to New Orleans.
Within a couple weeks, I got a job at a local Inn as the property manager. I moved in and started checking customers in, cleaning rooms and taking customer's reservations. Within about 6 months, dealing with PISSY customers, a racist co-owner and a lazy other co-owner (leave me alone, I know it's grammatically incorrect), I started to slip again.
This is the exact opposite of what I was feeling.
While I was doing this, I was working on my films. I had been hired by the owners and told that my time was mine... they lied... but I was unable to really do that... The stress caused me to crack a little...
Fortunately, before I completely broke. They awarded me disability, and I was able to get out of there.
A couple years later, my friend Will needed a driver for his mental health clinic. I took that job. Within 3 months... I was cracking again... So... I had to quit that job.
Each time I have started to break... it has taken longer... and longer... and LONGER... to recover.
So... I was excited yesterday when they gave me the job... There was a little bit of anxiety over changing my hair and having to shave my face for it. We fear change... especially when it's not on our own terms. (no, I am not claiming to have multiple personalities... "We fear change" is a line from a movie I saw years ago)
I filled out all of the paperwork last night (I respect the parking company very much... they are completely paperless). Today, the manager called me to get me scheduled and I lost it. All of the symptoms I listed earlier...
I don't think I can do it. I honestly don't think I can.
Part of it is the stress of knowing I am going to be out in the world surrounded by people. Part of it is it is customer service, the source of horror in my life. Part of it is knowing I am going to be outside... on Canal Street, in New Orleans... That's a lot of noise and light... wayyyy too overwhelming.
I am honestly getting clammy hands and a thundering heart beat, can't breath deeply just writing about it.
Then comes the issue that truly terrifies me. We're talking a mortal terror... If I break this time, I fear I may not be coming back. The last time, it took almost 8 months to get back to being me... Actually... I'm still not completely functional...
I'm scared... That stress is going to break me... and then...I won't come back. Is it silly? Probably... but I am on disability because of the things wrong with my brain.
The damage has been done... I can't take anymore.
I am afraid that I won't be a match for this stuff in a chess game.
I was going to rant. Any major religious holiday brings it out in me. I fancy myself a thinking person, and these holidays are truly disturbing to me in most cases. It is hard for me to believe in something that is not substantiated by repeatable and proven fact.
The christian religion has taken symbols and events from the pagan calendar over the years and incorporated them into their religion in an effort to capture the pagan market. It is sound marketing strategy but a douchy thing to do religiously.
The reason I rant is because these people will wig out on anyone who believes something differently, even if it's one of the religions that christianity stole from.
Like I said, I was going to rant... but today I found this...
I found this image at http://www.facebook.com/pages/The-Thinking-Atheist/302201620116
Today, we go on a location scouting excursion for the first episode of Project Z: History of the Zombie Apocalypse. I interview writer, director and producer Tony Pallo. We get lost in the Coutourie Forest and Glitch and Timber get chased to their death.
Remember SOPA? Remember how we were all pissed off about the fact that they were going to try to give the big media conglomerates huge sweeping ability to censor the internet when instances of intellectual property theft were seen?
Guess what? The reason SOPA was even on the table as a concept was because people are stealing intellectual property every damn day...
I belong to DeviantArt, an artists community. A site like that should be free from artistic theft. Each of us (with a few mighty, glaring exceptions) is an artist and should rebel against the concept of Intellectual Property theft.
I know, Deviant Art has a lot of people working under the creative commons license, but that doesn't mean everyone is. If in doubt, ask. Even those not using the creative commons are pretty cool. Most of the time, they will give you permission if you JUST ASK.
Don't do it!
If they say no... DON'T DO IT!
As an artist, you have the right to control how your work is used. That means that if you want to use someone's image, writing, etc in your work, you HAVE TO ASK PERMISSION. If it's under the creative commons license, you can use it, but you DAMN WELL better give them credit.
By posting it there, you are outright saying that YOU OWN THE THING. Look below every image and you will see a copyright statement... If you don't own it, you are LYING!
If you find something on the internet and post it here: you are lying. You are also stealing. Put it in a photobucket account... don't post it here... we don't want to see the meme you found online... we don't want thieves and liars here...
What's that? I am taking this too seriously? Bullshit!
Artistic theft is, in my book, akin to mental rape. And we have no room for that here.
If you can't follow the rules you agreed to when you signed up for the site... GET OUT!
Even this guy agrees wit me, and we don't see eye to eye often.
Today's teens are, in my opinion, a bunch of entitled pains in the ass. I know, this is a blanket statement. There are many awesome teens out there... I've had the privilege to work with a couple of them... but on the whole, they need to be taught a lesson...
This man is my hero. 9 rounds. BLAM! (x9) I would have done it differently... a big hammer... right in front of her, but (according to most people) I am a dick.
This is EPIC PARENTING... It's like... well... Sparta... but with laptops and bullets... I can only imagine that this is what Sparta would be like today...
"What was that? You feel that you are put upon by your mother and I simply because we ask you to wipe down a counter, sweep the floor and clean your clothes so you don't smell like the garbage you portray yourself to be?" BLAM! "Take yourself and the shards of your whiny complaint keyboard and get thee to a nunnery, you lazy, pansy-ass, punk child!"
I know... That's more Shakespearean, but you get the point.
If I had said something like this to, or about my parents... I think one of 6 things would have happened. 1) They would have destroyed my computer. 2) Cut off my fingers 3) both 1 and 2. 4) Buried my body under the house. 5) put me in foster care or 6) slapped me until I was properly contrite.
Soap box time. If you are a teen like this... Knock it off... show your parents some respect... don't insult them, don't post disrespectful stuff about them on facebook... and don't be a self entitled little douche bag... If your father BOUGHT YOU A LAPTOP, SMART PHONE, CAMERA, and IPOD-say thank you... You have no room to complain about the treatment unless you are being neglected or abused; either physically, mentally or emotionally.
Talking like that to people will have one result as an adult... getting your teeth knocked out by someone with worse behavior than yours. And trust me... There are a lot of people out there that are worse behaved than you...
I RARELY click on a video reply link... but I enjoyed this one...
Social media will be the end of us all as we all spiral downward into a pit of status updates, tweets and video reactions that we can't climb out of and eventually die of starvation and exposure- but I digress. The teen reactions actually give me hope.
I agree with them that the father went a little too far... Not in shooting the laptop, but doing it at home with nonchalance, leads people to the wrong conclusions... Do it Mythbusters style... make a special trip down to the firing range and do it in a safe and controlled environment... and then rent a Desert Eagle (that's a .50 caliber folks) and blow it up!
Personally... I like the hammer idea... or taking a circular saw to it and giving her the pieces...
